Why is it strictly forbidden for teachers and students in American universities?

2019-12-18 | KnowYourself original |

This is a restless December. Peking University Assistant Professor Feng Renjie was exposed to deceive and maintain sexual relations with nearly ten women at the same time.

In the first year of the school 2016, Feng Renjie persuaded Tang, a 14-year-old female student of Peking University School of Economics, who had just turned 20, to leave her boyfriend at the time and register for marriage.

This marriage lasted only two years, but it was very traumatic to Tang. The top student who had a bright future changed his life trajectory. Only 2 months after the divorce, Feng Renjie has already been with the next "main palace"Build relationships. At the same time, maintain close relationships with more than a dozen women at the same time over the next 3 months.

Almost all of these women met him in a "eager to get married and introduce a blind date" when they met, they asked the other party if they would like to have a few children and would like to go home with him to meet their parents.The image of a male academic elite was deceived. Feng Renjie posted a private message on the official bbs of Peking University on the day of Qixi Festival. He sent 4 "girlfriends" a red envelope of 520 yuan and even dated 3 "girlfriends." Once the schedule conflicts,The reasons for "food with the leader", "write a dissertation", "listen to lectures", "auntie is here" were confounded. This week, Qian Fengsheng, an associate professor at Shangcai, verbally harassed a female accounting student.Send ambiguous messages on WeChat: "Lovely baby", "Teacher won't laugh at students", "You look white and you like it" ... Qian Fengsheng took the student into the car and drove it all nightGo to a hidden place and lock up your car for obscenity. The victim was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD and depression after the incident.

At present, both Peking University and Shangcai have responded quickly, and the professors involved have been fired. Some fans in the background also asked: "Why do highly respected professors do this to students? They ca n’t get sex in other ways.Are you satisfied? "

The topic we want to talk about today, in addition to answering the above question, can also be used to answer "Why can't a psychological counselor fall in love with a patient, if the patient is voluntary?" And, I asked this when I was in New York.A question from the teacher, "Why is it strictly forbidden for a school to fall in love with the students in the class? Isn't the romance between teachers and students very romantic?"

Because the topic we are talking about today is "sex and power." To understand why these professors prefer to obtain sex from students, we must first start with the two dimensions of interaction in human relationships.

Every person-to-person relationship has interactions. You eat with friends, you work with colleagues, you buy and sell with vendors. Eating, working, buying and selling, these are the "contents" of interpersonal interactions. ButIn the interaction, in addition to the content, there is another dimension that is equally important or even more important, that is, the "process" in which the interaction occurs.

The process of interaction is often more difficult to be monitored and disguised by itself than the content of the interaction, so it is easier to expose the inner heart of the person. The process of interaction occurs by both parties and one party is involuntary.In the case of teaching sexual harassment to female students, he not only gained the content of interaction, that is, sex itself, but also the pleasure brought by the interactive process, that is, power Henriques, 2017. More and more researchers and cliniciansNote that, in essence, sexual assault stems from the desire of the perpetrator for control and domination.

The victim is turned into an object of power through sexual violence, so that the power of the aggressor can be exerted Blay, 2017; Yonack, 2017. Weber defines power in this way: the level of power is how much a person canAffected by the resistance of the other party, implement their own will to the other party. Obviously, the power pleasure that professors obtain in the process of forcing students cannot be obtained in other voluntary sexual relationships.

A visitor once to protect privacy, the specific plot is fictitious has a strong rape fantasy.

I ask him, do you think he ’s resistance is a shy expression of enjoyment? He said no, it ’s a real resistance or even disgust. Of course, the happiness in his fantasy also comes from “it has powerCarry out the will regardless of the opposition's resistance. "

Fantasy is innocent, there is an essential difference between fantasy and action. But there is indeed a whole set of false words that fosters a culture of rape. For example, when she says no, she is just shy. For example, because she enjoys sexWomen are sluts, so rejecting sex is just a normal expression of a good woman. Another example is that by conquering the vagina you can conquer a woman's heart. Although they are resistant at first, they will then enjoy it.

I haven't done a survey, I don't know how many men really believe that this set of discourses is "consistent with reality." But there must be some men who know that this is not true, but it does not hinder the continued dissemination of this set of discourses.And it is becoming a hotbed of rape culture.

Taiwan uses "power sexual assault" to define "sex" that occurs in relations of unequal power Guo Jinwu, 2017. This includes using power to benefit oneself from "sex", such as having a sexual relationship with the other party, Sexually harassing each other, etc.

Audrey Ko, editor-in-chief of Taiwan ’s column, calls it: “Hunting with power, exchanging the record of conquering one's own nature.” This power is not equal, not necessarily “political / economic power”, but refers to a more “broad”Power, including any kind of power imbalance in family relationships, workplace positions, teacher-student relationships, age gaps, different genders, richness of sexual knowledge, social status, etc.The requirement of virginity is also artificially creating a power gap for example, women who are considered inferior after a relationship.

Psychoanalyst Yonack 2017 points out that when the disadvantaged have something, whether it is work, good grades, opportunities for promotion / performance, etc., another convenience that can help achieve these needs has "power".

It can be seen that this difference in power exists between lower and higher levels; between professors and students; between consultants / physicians and visiting / patients. The party with power, such as superiors, professors, and consultants, Doctor, for the other party, subordinates, students, visitors, patients, sexual assault is a kind of "power sexual assault."

Yale University strictly prohibits teachers from having sexual relations with students who directly teach and supervise themselves. Teachers must not supervise any students who have had sexual relations. Teachers are forbidden from having sexual relations with any undergraduate students. Teachers who violate the rules will be directly punished;In California, if a counselor and a visitor, or a visitor who has completed treatment for 2 years, has a sexual relationship, it is a sexual crime, and the counselor's license will be revoked. In Taiwan, relatives, guardianship, education, relief, medical treatment, official business, and businessOnce the relationship is given an opportunity for sexual intercourse, he will be sentenced to a term of imprisonment of more than 6 months and less than 5 years. There are many similar regulations in Europe, America, Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan.

Can students take the initiative to fall in love with the teacher? Many researchers believe that when power is involved, people ’s informed consent will lose 100% of their autonomy. Are you in love with the other party or are you tempted by power?, Threat? Many times you may not understand it yourself. And many people will regret their initial investment after leaving the power relationship.

In order to avoid such possible damage, these countries, regions, and schools will strictly prohibit any possible "exchange of power for sexual benefits." Of course, the wrestling of power will also occur from the bottom up. If you are in a relationship of loveTeachers and students have emotional entanglements, and disadvantaged students may sue the teacher for emotional revenge. For teachers and students who violate the rules, the punishment is the teacher, not the student, and they are usually fired or fired. Finkelhor andBrowne 1986 identified four negative psychological effects that sexual trauma can leave victims, which may be long-term and far-reaching.

  1. Traumatic sexual experience :

The victim's feelings and attitudes towards sex are confused during the process of sexual assault. Ta may cause confusion, confusion, guilt, and shame about sex.

2. Self-stigma :

Society has a "perfect victim" hypothesis for victims. Once the victim does not meet this hypothesis, it will be considered voluntary and self-initiated. For example, when the victim has a physiological "pleasure" in the processOr dress sexy; or take the initiative to get along alone such as dating sexual assault; or if the victim does have a close relationship with the perpetrator such as sexual assault within marriage, Ta ’s absolute “victim” identity in people ’s hearts will beQuestioned, challenged.

And when victims receive their "bad, unclean, shame, self-seeking" information, they will affect their sense of identity. Porter et al. 1982 proposed the concept of "damaged syndrome",The victim believes that the physical harm is irreversible, and he is like a torn item, accompanied by fear, low self-esteem, suppressed anger, loss of trust, and inability to respond.

3. Betrayal :

Victims find that the people they rely on are untrustworthy, unable to protect them or even harm them. This blow is fatal to the victim's sense of trust and security.

4. Feeling powerless :

Feeling your own weakness is the feeling that many victims can't get rid of it for many years. Compared with general sexual assault, power sexual assault has some special consequences: victims of power sexual assault are more likely to occur than general sexual assaultStockholm Syndrome: I feel that I am in love with each other.

Because the violations caused by this power relationship are often more than once, long-term, and because of the unequal power relationship between the two parties, it is difficult for the victims to reject and escape this relationship. So they may be aware of the cognitive imbalance and tell themselves"I must be willing to have a relationship with Ta because I love Ta".

Power is often the role of supervisor, teacher, rescuer, which will have far-reaching negative effects on the victims. It is difficult for them to clearly understand the boundaries between these roles, and to "harm" and "love".Are confused about their relationship especially for underage victims. It is more difficult for them to deal with intimate relationships when they grow up, because they often cannot distinguish likes and dislikes, desires and injuries, love and hate. For those who have not experiencedTo humans, this description may seem remote and obscure.

One of my visits that had been sexually assaulted by a teacher once told me, because the behavior of "trap" seemed so "friendly", so that the perception of the friendship of the opposite sex was confused. But it was not just vigilance,The boundaries between herself and the more powerful older men also seem to be blurring-her "friendliness" sometimes looks like "temptation" to others.

In addition, in intimate relationships, she always feels disgusted when she feels the desire of the other person, and trust and admiration when the other person does not desire herself. This is of course problematic. Desire is important in intimate relationships.Part. But she said that these reactions seemed to be recorded in her body, more powerful than her rationality. That is, she did not have the power to decide whether she hated or loved a person, even if it was the same at different timespersonal.

And power abuse, there are some negative consequences unique to it. Victims of power abuse are more difficult to speak because they are often threatened. Power abuse, especially long-term power abuse, is often very complicated. It is difficult for peopleReally understand that under the unequal power relations, sexual assault achieved through various means, it is difficult to pay attention to the victim's weakness.

Victims of sexual assault often face "blame" from the outside world: "Why don't you say no? Do you fight desperately? Why do you still maintain the original relationship after it happened once?"Victims of sexual assault are deadly and heavy. Judith Herman, an American scholar who studies sexual abuse, proposes five wound repair steps in his book "Trauma and Repair."

a. Stability :

Find a safe environment in which you feel relieved and no longer be afraid, and at the same time this environment can help you meet basic living needs.

b. Tells :

Tell or write your trauma to a trusted friend or therapist, try to accept yourself in the process of facing the trauma, understand that the trauma is not your fault, and the trauma can be repaired. In this processIt is recommended to accompany professionals such as psychological counselors, social workers, etc. to avoid causing secondary injuries.

c. Transformation :

Change the way of recalling trauma from the process of telling the trauma, change the narrative mode to "I have overcome so much", and feel my power in the repair process.

d. Established :

Rebuild your trust in different relationships and try to regain your security a little bit.

e. Reconciliation :

Try to reconcile with yourself, but also with the wounds of the past. Try not to treat the wounds as the most important part of your identity. Find your sense of mission and meaning again.

The five steps written here may be half of their lives including men and women and victims of various genders. For our society, what we need to do most is to give to all the unfortunate victims.People, create an environment that allows sound.

Imagine if you had such an unfortunate encounter, would you dare to stand up and say, I am a survivor? Would you worry that you would be evaluated, misunderstood, or even slandered for this? Are you afraid of your partner, loverSo you feel your "value" is down? Do you worry that your parents and family will feel shamed and shame?

If your answers to these questions are scared and worried, it means that this society-that is, each of us, has not done enough for them. The world is very unfair, and those who have suffered beforeSexually assaulted people are more likely to be re-victimized than those who have never been victimized for the first time. This is "revictimization."

You are your society. Your society allows the victim to continue to be harmed and the victim to continue to pay for the unfortunate experience. This is something you should not allow.

Let's speak for them first, telling the society that those who infringe others are wrong, that is their abuse of power, and their disrespect for others. Let us also speak, tell the victims that they are unfortunate,They are also tenacious, and we respect their fight against trauma.

Silent is complicity, don't be a silent majority, don't be accomplice in acquiescence.

Please forward them and send your appeal.

above, It's never too late to voice out.

References :

Browne, A., & Finkelhor, D. 1986. Impact of child sexual abuse: a review of the research. Psychologicalbulletin, 99 1, 66.

Blay, Z. 2017. Sexual harassment isn't aboutsex, it's about power. The Huffington Post.

Henriques, G. 2017. Why sexual aggression is about both sex and power. Psychology Today.

Herman, J. 1997. Trauma and recovery: the aftermath of violence-from domestic abuse to political terror. New York: Basic Books.

Porter, FS, Blick, LC, & Sgroi, SM 1982. Treatment of the sexually abused child. Handbook of clinical intervention in child sexual abuse, 109-145.

Yonack, L., 2017. Sexual assault is about power. Psychology Today.Ko, A. 2017. Gender observation: power abuse, don't use "I love you" to rape me. Womany

Guo Jinwu 2017. Why does the workplace always encounter sexual assault and the victims leave? The focus of sexual assault is not sex, but power!

Li Xin Social Welfare Foundation 2017. Unveiling the power of sexual intercourse. The Garden of Hope Foundation.

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