I'm 26 years old, I have taken the postgraduate study for three years, and I have lost family and friends.

In 2019, there were more than 2.9 million postgraduate applicants. The huge number dilutes the admission rate. Many people do not hesitate in World War II, World War III, or even World War IV the number of postgraduate entrance examinations. Some say that postgraduate entrance examinations are due to greater fear than postgraduate entrance examinations. We interviewI met several people who have taken postgraduate entrance examinations many times to see what kind of life fears and hopes are behind the postgraduate entrance examination boom.

Li Shaoran, 27 years old, graduated for three years

Mother said that girls read books to have independence

Recalling now, it seems like a joke for the first time in the postgraduate study.

When I was a junior, I saw that all the small companies that came to the school for autumn recruits were unknown small companies. The students around me moved into the postgraduate entrance examination, and I signed up for the exam with them.

At that time, I had no plan for the future. I randomly chose a school that was not difficult. I prepared for the exam half-heartedly for half a year. In the end, the public class didn't go online. I could only choose a transfer.

adjustment is the thing that can make people see the difference in education. The same score, the school will definitely give priority to the better person of the undergraduate university. I tried for a whole month, call and consult every day, join the university adjustment group, askThe contact method of the senior and sister's mentor was not successful in the end.

After graduating, I came to a small factory as an assistant and endured the so-called wine table culture every day. I worked for two months as if I had spent 20 years. I thought about it for a long time, so I decided to use the rope for postgraduate entrance examination and go upClimb.

With a salary of 8,000 yuan for two months, I rented a house near the target college and started preparing for the test again. Because I wanted to change the status quo, I reviewed it day and night during World War II. I did n’t feel any hardships. UnfortunatelyBecause the exam was too stressful, I filled out the wrong English answer card and failed again.

Two postgraduate entrance examinations, the professional course scores are very good, but the public course failed. I am not willing, but I dare not take the exam again. The third-year postgraduate entrance examination, or a three-year master, I will go to work after graduation, I have alreadyI'm 27 years old. News about women's employment discrimination has been going on. By the age of 30, marriage and children were in front of me. I had to consider the rules of modern society.

I got a full-time job, and I planned to give up the postgraduate study. But the next family dinner completely changed my mind.

Relatives heard that I failed in two postgraduate entrance examinations. I said, “It ’s no use for girls to read too many books. They still have to marry.” The mother who was always gentle and restrained immediately countered at the dinner table. “I let my daughter study for the sake ofLet her be an independent person and support herself without getting married. She can be confident and confident at any time. "

The mother is just an ordinary rural woman. I didn't expect her to say such words. After the dinner, she repeatedly told me, "If you want to take the graduate exam, go to the exam. It doesn't matter if you get married and have children later."

After listening to my mother's words, I rekindled my fighting spirit again. My working hours are from 9 to 6 in the morning. I get up at 5 in the morning and go to bed at 12 in the evening. I use every minute of my spare time to review.

Because the salary is not high, I want to save some tuition in advance. I can only live in a dilapidated house near the unit. In the winter, there is no heating in the room, and I can't sit cold. I went to the public bathroom and opened the Yuba endorsement. FastWhen I took the exam, I took a week off. As soon as the curtains were pulled, I woke up every day to review. I was hungry and took two quick-frozen dumplings to quickly solve.

After the exam, I told my mother on the bus home "I really did my best." My mother comforted me and said, "I know, I'll look at God. I know you worked hard, it doesn't matter if you don't pass the exam." ButThinking of three years of youth being put on a test, I got off the bus, and I crouched nervously while crying while vomiting.

The next day, I pretended to continue to work as if nothing had happened, but in fact I was crazy every day to see the answer and evaluate the score.

I was attending my girlfriend's wedding on the day of my grade. After seeing the notice from the group, I immediately went to the bathroom to check the score. I blocked the entire interface of the mobile phone with my hand and moved it from left to right, 6, 6, 1, 1,3.

I passed the first test with a low score.

The next thing went well. I passed the re-examination and got an acceptance letter from Wuhan University. Three years later, I got in touch with many new fields at the school and got a job in banking. This is how I originallyThings that I dare not think about.

It was delayed for three years. The classmates who had been married and had children laughed that I was still holding the same salary as her, but the words of my mother did not regret this choice.

Sun Xing is 28 years old and graduated for four years

Is the postgraduate entrance examination for academic qualifications or escape?

The conference room was dimly lit, and the photographer picked up an intern like pulling a carrot and said, "The children of the National People's Congress are really good." The person next to them picked up another child and said, "I think this Peking University is OK."

Before the first postgraduate entrance examination, I often dreamed of such a scene.

Fourth summer vacation, my father asked a friend to put me into CCTV for an internship. On the first day of the group, four or five interns lined up to introduce themselves. All the people in front came from the top universities at home and abroad, only I came from Changchun.An ordinary college.

Interns come and go on TV stations, the leaders ca n’t remember our names, usually they are called by schools. “People who call Fudan come here”, “This is given to the children of Peking University”, and when I came, the title became"Who is that".

Into the community, I was shrouded in the shadow of my academic qualifications. I did n’t get any exercise opportunities. Every day I worked to drink tea and move machines. Everyone talked about famous school mentors and industry leaders.I talked about my favorite reporter. When I first reported Chai Jing's name, I heard the teacher around me say scornfully, "Students like you know her," and everyone around them laughed.

After the internship, I immediately packed my luggage and left Beijing. The experience of the past three months completely destroyed my self-confidence, and the postgraduate entrance examination became the only way to solve my academic anxiety.

When I got back to school, I had made a lot of progress. Everyone around me was preparing for the exam in the early morning and early in the morning. I didn't care too much. I planned to walk through the first year to accumulate experience. I got out of the test room and realized it.The road is never as simple as imagined. Behind the bright education of others is the sweat and hard work I have never paid.

Learning often depends on inertia. After four years of playing in the university, it is difficult for me to sit in the study room and take a long public course. During World War II, I could n’t help but want to buy an air ticket.Find a beach to lie down for two days. With this attitude, World War II naturally fell in the first try.

Although I expected the results early, but after checking the results, I still locked myself in the room for a few days and did not go out. For the third year of preparation, I cut off all the way back, threw away my mobile phone, and reported a costly postgraduate course.I commute to and from school and dormitory every day, reviewing my homework day and night. I ’m like going back to the senior year. At that time, the school will calculate the “class lookup rate”. The teacher stares out of the glass.I hated this surveillance and wrote to the principal asking for revocation, but now I can't wait to ask myself this way.

I still failed the re-examination for the third postgraduate entrance examination. My always-strict father was afraid that I was too stressed and suddenly changed my personality, comforting me.Bad money. "

I was even more ashamed when I heard this. Three years have been wasted. The graduate students who graduated together for the postgraduate study have graduated. The schoolmates who participated in the job have already jumped to two companies in Beijing. Only I stayed there, pretending to beStudents. Recalling my learning experience along the way, I was in the college entrance examination province of Shandong, and I have always despised exam-oriented education, mocking others for high scores and low abilities, and finally, I have to desperately test for qualifications, the reality is really ironic.

Before the fourth exam, I went back to Beijing, and the CCTV building still stood in the haze. I stood downstairs and asked myself, "Whether the preparation for the exam year after year is to improve the academic qualifications, or is it the postgraduate entrance examination?Excuses, not willing to face the choices of society again? "

Picture | CCTV Building

The surrounding air is gray, and the green light is on, people walk through the intersection, everyone seems to have a clear direction.

On December 24, 2017, the unified national postgraduate entrance examination began, and I did not enter the examination room again.

Wang Zichen, 26 years old, graduated for three years

Three postgraduate entrance examinations have caused me to lose my family and friends

After failing the second postgraduate entrance examination, the mother said ruthlessly on the hospital bed, "If you go to the postgraduate entrance examination again, don't come back." I didn't dare to turn around, stepped on the return train with my bag, and returned to the school in silence.Rental house.

The postgraduate entrance examination is for a musical dream. I studied piano and vocal music for eight years, and I wanted to become a stage musician, but I went to a teacher's school by mistake.

After graduating in 2016, I worked as a language teacher in a primary school. I faced noisy students and endless teaching materials every day. The boring life lasted for almost a year. After saving a small amount of money, I immediatelyResigning from work, hiding her family, ready to make a final fight for your dreams.

The reality did not go as planned, because the English foundation was poor, and the first entrance examination failed by a few points. With my pleading, my mother gave me a sum of money to take the second year of the exam.

Back to the small rental house, cut off all contact with the outside world, I started the second round of review around the clock. Excessive pressure caused me to lose hair, the vocal cords were swollen and disappeared, I was nervous and could n’t fall asleep near the first test.Can't help but tear up the review materials.

Before the second retest, my family suddenly called and my mother was going to perform a leg operation and asked me if I could go back and take care of it for a few days. I was nervous about the exam and I did n’t know what to think about it. If I refused, I would blurt out.When I reacted, I heard my mother crying over the phone.

After a few days of re-examination, I behaved abnormally, and once again passed by my favorite school. After returning home, my mother was not guilty of talking to me. I was also guilty and did not dare to face her, but decided to take the test again.once.

Picture | Street sign of Kaoyan City

Back in town, in order to alleviate anxiety, I talked to my best friend when I was in college. When talking about the past two years at the wine table, he didn't understand my choice, and kept asking me, "Why should I take the postgraduate?You're all 26, do you want to spend money at home? "

No one knows my love for music. When I was young, I didn't have any partners around me. Only a second-hand piano accompanied me through my long childhood. Every time I put my hands on the keys, I can feel a little peace of mind. Life is just a few dozensI didn't want to repeat the fate of my parents. They have no choice, but I want to do something I really like.

The more you drink, the more you drink. I said, "I don't want to be a primary school language teacher all my life." Before I finished saying "I like music," my friend sneered, "Well, do you look down on us as teachers?? "I didn't explain my thoughts, settled the bill silently, and returned to the rental house to sit all night against the instrument.

Since then, I have taken the initiative to close myself and no longer contact my former friends. My parents did not provide financial support, and I found a part-time job in a more leisurely school, earning 2,000 yuan a month to support rent and living, and then sign up againTook the exam.

I walked out of the exam room a few days ago, I threw away all the review materials in my home, I wanted to find someone to drink with, but I did n’t know who else to pick up when I picked up my phone.

Meng Yu is 30 years old and graduated for four years

Buried into the postgraduate entrance examination to see the bigger world

If it wasn't for the postgraduate entrance examination, I grew up in Gobi Beach, Xinjiang, and I wouldn't have a chance to stand in the coconut forest of pollachi, a city in southern India.

Born in a small town in Xinjiang, my brother and I have long been eager for a better education and can go to the outside world to see. Unfortunately, I failed in the college entrance examination and I can only stay at home in college. When I was a senior, I was tired of monotonyIn my life, I want to use the postgraduate entrance examination as a springboard and try to go out. Because there is no professional guidance, coupled with information blockage, and the education gap is too large, the first postgraduate entrance examination naturally ended in a miserable defeat.

My parents are people who work in agriculture all the year round. The family conditions do not allow me to delay time and adjust my mindset. I turned to the wave of job hunting. As a teacher for several months in an English training institution, I still can't stand back in front of my life., So he invested in the battlefield of the second postgraduate study.

Resigned from the teacher's job, returned to school to find a part-time job, and reviewed the exam preparation at the same time. During the graduation season, the students left the campus one after the other and went for their own things. It seemed that only I remained in place. I did not expect this stay to be two years.

In 2014, the second world war entrance examination failed again. I have forgotten the difficulty of preparing for the exam that year. I just remember that I sat downstairs alone for a long time after the spring results.

Staying in a familiar school, I often meet the schoolmates and schoolmates I know. Every time I subconsciously avoid. When I take the school bus after work, I shrink to the corner of the last row, worried that I will run into a teacher who has taught me.Failing twice in a row, and still holding on to the postgraduate entrance examination, made me a joke in the eyes of everyone around me.

On the way back to the dormitory, the school bus will pass through a large forest, watching the wild flowers passing by, I ca n’t help but feel sad. In the past two years, I ’m like Gordo waiting, waiting for a miracle, but spring is coming.Passed, nothing happened.

In 2015, after the third postgraduate entrance examination results came out, I was completely disappointed and quit my job. When I left school, I had nothing but a few boxes of postgraduate entrance examination books.

I have been selling in Urumqi for a period of time, I still can't let go of the postgraduate entrance exam. If I don't try again, I may never get out of Xinjiang. After repeated consideration, I re-selected the major, college, and started the fourthReview.

At that time, I lived in the old house of my sister's house. There was a mildew smell in the house. How could the spider web in the corner not be cleaned. The money in my hand was limited. I bought two big bags of potatoes at a nearby vegetable market., And a bag of flour left by my sister, eat potato pancakes every day.

Picture | Study room for the fourth exam preparation

Two months before the test, I kept my review time tight. I was reading English at any time, anywhere, and listening to the lesson videos when I was doing laundry. Once I was endorsing, I fell asleep on the sofa unknowingly.As soon as I woke up and looked at the ceiling of the white flowers, I felt that I was living in a corner forgotten by the world. No one would care about the efforts of a loser.

In December 2016, I walked into the test room for the fourth time and smoothly completed the papers. Then I successfully passed the re-examination. I didn't imagine the sadness. After receiving the admission notice, I slept peacefully for a long time.

While waiting for enrollment, the school teacher introduced me to a foreign trade job. I have never been out of Xinjiang. I took a train forty hours and came to Guangzhou. The boss appreciates my practical work and another month.And then sent me to the Indian headquarters.

Standing in a large coconut forest, I took many photos and wanted to take it home for my brother to see. More than ten years ago, my brother who was still a junior high school student became too sick due to stress and had no chance to continue studying.Working hard for the postgraduate entrance exam, I just want to come out and see the world for him.

It has been 6 years since I took my first postgraduate exam in 2013, and now I have returned to my hometown to take the civil service. My parents are old, and I must stay in my hometown to take care of them.

Go back and forth and go back to the town, but I'm still glad that I have had such a fight with life.

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Planning: Ma Yanjun

Visual: Zeng Xing