"I, a man of the Northeast, became a grandson in the South"

2019-12-26 | National Pavilion original |

I am a wolf from the north, but I became a dog frozen in the south.

01

Recently, "Northeasters receive express delivery like this" on Weibo hot search, which caused hot debate among the people.

In winter, the courier received by the people in Northeast China is frozen after being processed by nature :

Toner is frozen;

Image source | @ 你 的 hats screenshot

Contact lens freezes;

Water polo became a snowball;

Image source | @ 你 的 hats screenshot

Just as the southerners sympathized with the northerners when it was too cold, light snow fell in Hubei and Zhejiang.

At this time, the Northeast people in the south were sitting inside the house, shaking tremblingly, saying: I have survived even the heavy snow in the north, but I ca n’t get the light snow in the south.

So, there was another new debate in the North and South :

"Who is more resistant to freezing in northerners and southerners?"

One of the biggest misunderstandings of the Chinese is that the northerners think that the south is not cold, and the southerners think that the northerners are not afraid of cold.

In early winter in Guangdong, Xiaolan in the south put on a cotton sweater and thought she was wearing a thick coat. Looking back at Xiaobei in the north, she was already wrapped in a down jacket and put on autumn pants.

Nan: Did you put on your autumn pants?

North: Yes. It's cold.

South: Aren't you a northerner? So afraid of cold?

North: Isn't this the South? Why is it so cold ?!

Winter is cold in North and South China, just :

The north is dry and cold, it is a physical attack, just wear a little more;

The south is wet and cold, it is a magical attack, it is useless to wear too much.

In a humid environment, the clothes have poor heat insulation ability. No matter how much you wear, your clothes will be as cold as wet.

At this time, the northerners said that it was cold to go back to the house and sit back, the southerners could only say that they went out to get the sun and chill.

After all, indoors in the South are colder than outdoors.

Southerners and Northerners call.

North: How many times have you been there?

South: It's five degrees.

North: It's so high. It's minus ten degrees outside here.

South: I am 5 degrees indoors.

So, a northerner who has just arrived in the south, put on autumn clothes and trousers, and then put on a thick down jacket, sitting in the living room with his hands straight.

Wearing so much, but with cold hands and feet, the dignified eight-footed man from the north suspected his kidney loss and was still roaring in his heart :

"I, a man of the Northeast, frozen into a grandson in the south."

Just after snarling, look at the southerner next to you. Just pulled out the left hand that was stamped out from the buttocks, the left hand took the phone, and the right hand was quickly put back under the buttocks.

Because I just finished holding the phone in my right hand, it has been frozen hard and my butt began to warm the right hand.

The northeastern man, I can't appreciate the sadness of pressing his hands on the buttocks to the hemp in the south, and he is reluctant to take it out.

02

In the eyes of northerners, how warm is the southern winter?

For example, Guangzhou faces the Pearl River, winter flowers bloom, and the city blooms.

Image source | Lycheeart

However, the southerner at this time was so cold at home that he shook into a sewing machine.

The northerners carry cold equipment heating, the southerners carry cold talent shake.

Southerners have installed a sewing machine in their hearts since childhood. It's cold, and their feet are shaking and their feet are warm; their hearts are shaking and their hearts are warm.

But in front of a bath, shaking is useless, the shaking gets colder.

In the winter, Southerners take courage to take a bath.

They struggled all night and dared to hold their pajamas and down jackets, rush into the toilet, and take off their clothes layer by layer, getting more and more off.

Southern showers are always incomprehensible, the first sip of water is either hot enough to become "pigskin" or cold enough to make a howl.

It was hard to adjust to the right temperature, standing in the hot water, and meditating in my heart: let me always stand under the hot water.

It's so comfortable. They don't have the courage to turn off the water. They can hesitate for 3 hours in the bath, and struggle for 20 minutes to turn off the water.

"Wash for another 10 minutes and I will turn off the water."

After dying and struggling dozens of times, they turned off the water reluctantly, and quickly put on their clothes while the water vapor in the air was still hot.

Otherwise, the body that has just been cooked will become cold again.

In the winter, southerners also need to be excited to sleep.

Hide into the cold quilt, lie flat, and begin to sleep in the winter trilogy :

Step 1: scroll left.

Step 2: Roll it to the right.

Step 3: Roll the quilt around your feet again.

Step 4: The quilt on the shoulder is tightly covered.

Otherwise, if you get up the next day, the quilt is still wet and cold, and you sleep in the freezer all night.

Colder than this is, if the hand is exposed in the air in the middle of the night, the next day, the hand will become unconscious as if it had been amputated.

Of course, the coldest thing is that in the middle of the night, you are wrapped in a quilt that you can't easily warm, and your urine is coming.

At this time, you are in a tangle, go, or not?

The aggrieved Southerners can only pray that they fall asleep again, so they forget about urgency.

In the winter, southerners get up and need explosive power.

Lying in the warmest part of the house, "I sleep for another 10 minutes, the countdown starts." This sentence, Southerners will always meditate on this sentence dozens of times in the bed.

It's hard to get up, sitting on the toilet, turning on the faucet, rinsing, and washing the face. The moment it was cold, the whole person was petrified.

It ’s so hard to go out, the cold ice rain patted on his face, pierced the bone marrow through thick clothes, and roared arrogantly in the bone marrow. At this time, the southerner seemed to be stuck by Rong YeHundred stitches.

Southerners spend the winter and become Bai Suzhen in seconds. Both indoor and outdoor are crossing the robbery.

03

In the eyes of southerners, how cold is the north?

Ice cream is sold on the ground, it will not melt.

Mineral water is frozen outdoors.

Eating noodles outdoors, the hot noodles immediately become ice noodles.

until the southerner went to the northerner's home and felt the heating, suddenly realized :

The north is very cold, but the indoors of the northerners are warm!

The second biggest misunderstanding of the Chinese is that the southerners think that the north is very cold, and the southerners think that the northerners are very resistant to freezing.

The cold in the north is a physical attack. The swords and halberds line up the mountain, and people can freeze to death outdoors.

-30 degrees below zero, but 20 degrees inside.

Northern people returning home from the silver-covered outdoor, take off the big caps of cotton jackets, thick boots, scarves, boots and gloves :

"Too hot!"

Wearing a vest, lying on the sofa, watching the sky full of snow and eating ice cream coolly.

Seeing here, the southerners remembered the days of shaking their legs at home to warm up, from the bottom of their hearts, they recognized the lyrics that violated the laws of nature :

"I am in the sun in the south, snow is flying;

You are in the cold in the north, and the seasons are like spring. "

For northerners, the best sound in the world is the sound of hot water passing through the heating pipe :

"Heating!"

Wake up in the morning, the clothes are too cold, the northerners put on the radiator to heat up and then wear them, and the southerners put them on the quilt and then heat them up.

School class, students line up to sit by the window, where it is near the heating. Southern classmates refuse to the window, which is the place closest to the biting cold wind.

In addition to life extension, the heating is a large hair dryer and microwave oven, which can heat socks, hot shoes, dried fruits, hot peppers, hot beans, hot milk, and hot box lunch.

Once the northerners lose the heating equipment, it is tantamount to self-defeating martial arts.

forty degrees below zero, the chill wind blows. Northeasters are fully armed, wrapped with only their eyes left, and walking on the road. Once they are fast, their faces are like acupuncture by Rong Hong, and they are heavyIt ’s like being cut by a knife.

Even if the cold wind doesn't blow, the floor is slippery enough. When the northerners go out, they can figure skate without wearing skates and bring the background music of "Ice Queen".

If they don't pay attention, once they lose their sense of balance, they will have an intimate contact with the earth, slipping in three steps and falling in five steps.

Image source | @ @ 容 达 人

Walking on the road in winter, northerners are being punished every moment.

And when the northerners came to the south, there was no heating in winter, and they could only rely on righteousness.

Northerners have put on wool trousers in October. Southerners basically started wearing autumn trousers only in November. The most fierce are the students from Hainan. They are still sleeping on the mat in December.

You ask the northerner how to live behind the south? I do n’t know, anyway, she called home and cried and said she was going to die.

At this time, the southerner next to him comforted him :

"It's okay, by virtue of righteousness, everything will pass.

Moreover, in the morning sweater, short sleeves at noon, down jackets and cotton jackets at night, you have not experienced the four seasons in a day, it's exciting. "

04

With the nourishment of the winter in the south, the anti-freezing talents of the southerners have already been trained in the fire and deep into the bone marrow.

So, in the eyes of many northerners, southerners are not afraid of cold.

For example, in the early winter, when all Northeasters wore thick cotton jackets, Southerners wore only one cotton sweater.

Looking at them shaking their legs in the wind, do you ask them to be cold? They will say: It's not cold. It's warmer than the southern house.

Another example, when the southerners saw snow, they kept the temperature out of the way.

What do southerners look like when they see snow? Probably the same as when Chengdu Panda first saw snow in the Northeast.

A group of students from Hainan, seeing heavy snow in Jilin, shirtless singing in the snow.

The sky is full of snow. When everyone is holding an umbrella, the southerners are wearing jeans, facing the sky, and opening their mouths to receive the baptism of snow.

Fell in the snow, release it hard, and also bring background music: it's like flying! This feeling of freedom!

Playing snow in the snow is not enough. You have to pack it home, put it in the refrigerator, and take it out from time to time to miss the joy of making a snowman. You even have to pack it in a thermos bottle and send it home by courier to parentsCheck it out.

Image source | @Why I can't change my name

For northerners, there are two things that look best when it snows, one is snow and the other is southerner.

Southerners look at snow, Northerners look at Southerners.

Looking at the southerners who are in close contact with Snow with all parts of their bodies, crazy rolling, screaming, making snowmen, and taking photos on the air, one day after playing, the northerners start to wonder :

"Are friends in the South really not cold?"

For those who can only read in winter: "It's so cold. It's five degrees. It's better to fall to six degrees and freeze to death. I can still watch the snow." For the southerners, it's really not cold.

To comfort the southerners, the northerners also launched a "Snowman Generation" activity.

Image source | @ATM 讲 君

For the northerners, they enjoy the romance and fun of the snow in the first few days of snow, but after a few days, the snow began to "trouble" the people in the north. In addition to the icing of express delivery, it will also :

The water pipe freezes, it is not water, it is popsicle, it will burst;

When going out, wear thicker clothes than a "bear", cover them tightly and only leak your eyes, wear clothes for half an hour, and undress for half an hour;

It's too dry in the middle of the night and nosebleeds are already normal.

There is a paragraph in the folk, in order to comfort the northerners suffering in the snow, the southerners send them a special product—the large southern cockroach to them, and write a letter on the cockroaches to show their hearts.

Image source | @ATM 讲 君

05

Whether the southerners or the northerners are more resistant to freezing, this is a century-old problem.

The key to solving this problem is heating.

Heating is in hand, I don't have anti-freezing ability.

At the end of the 1970s, China followed the example of the Soviet Union, and implemented centralized heating only in areas where the average daily temperature was less than or equal to 5 ° C and maintained for 90 days or more.

Simply put, it is the northern area north of the Huaihe River in the Qinling Mountains. Central heating.

Heating requires hot water, and hot water requires coal. At that time, China's coal production was not enough to support the whole country for heating.

So, the South withdrew from the group chat and used the effective resources in the North where it is most needed.

But when it comes to here, the Jiangsu people at the border between North and South will jump out and say :

I am capable of reporting Xuzhou! A southern lucky man who has heating and also enjoys Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai free shipping!

In addition to geographical reasons, there are also economic reasons for heating.

During the first five-year plan, the Soviet Union helped build many thermal power plants, but most of them were in the north.

Because many factories were built in the cold and icy areas in the north at the time, and the factory operations required water.

Frozen water in winter means that these factories cannot work. So in order to maintain the normal operation of the factory, the north needs a thermal power plant to heat up the water.

In addition, after the North-South divide was established, the South is not within the scope of central heating, so in the subsequent urban planning, there is almost no consideration of building a heating system. If the South is to heat now, the infrastructure construction project will be very large.

The southerners said that I understand the truth, I have no opinion on heating in the north, but the "humble" southerners are really too cold to carry, and they are running out of righteousness, so benevolent northern friends can take them in for a winter.

The people in the south don't have to be too "humble", even if the project is large, with the support of the country and the efforts of engineers, this year, some southern areas such as Wuhan, Hefei, and Changsha have begun to heat!

The people in the south said with tears that in my lifetime, my old cold leg sewing machine function has a chance to be unloaded, so you don't need to shake it anymore!

Reference :

China Economic Weekly-Economic Network: There is heating in the south too! Centralized heating in some communities in Changsha

Xiangyang Evening News: It's snowing, the opportunity for friends in the north to make extra money is here!

Yangcheng Evening News: Minimum 0 ℃ or below! The cold and cold magic attack that Guangdong people fear most is coming

Inspur Studio: "The northern winter can cry the northerners, I promise"

People's Daily: "Winter Southerners, Wife, Wife, and Wife Are Miserable!"

Weibo topic: #How hard is it for southerners to spend winter #

Weibo topic: # 北 人 的 痛 南人 不懂 #

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