Fun Psychological Express: Decipher the Versailles literature, learn how to install x secrets

2020-11-19 | KnowYourself Original |

The literature of Versailles has suddenly become popular recently, and it has contributed more than half of the memes in my life.

Netizens who are accustomed to questioning the roots also showed everyone the long history of Fanxue——

And I, a person who would be embarrassed to the point of digging out the three rooms and one hall with his toes, decided to decipher the Versailles literature first to see if there are any literary tricks that I can learn from——

01.

When we dislike Versailles literature,

What the hell is it?

If you think that Versailles literature is just to show off your wealth and show off your boyfriend, then you are too small to look down on human literary attainments. For Versailles literature, everything can be dazzling, and life is full of shadows of ordinary learning.

Some sisters who have never had acne on my face told me, "I feel that youth without acne seems a bit regretful", and I have also met brothers who have been fitness "complaining" that they are always being caught in the gym.The pretty lady asked to be their coach...

Looking at them trying to hide their joy and pretending to be annoyed, I always smile as usual.

The essence of Versailles literature is to express the content of the show off in a complaining/indifferent tone while clearly wanting to boast. This behavior has an academically serious name, called "humblebrag".

Just looking at this Chinese translation, you can actually feel that we don’t like Versailles literature, not simply because the other party is showing off, but we clearly feel that the other party is showing off, but the other party refuses to admit it.

People who like to brag and show off often show an attitude of arrogance, and this arrogance contains a sense of superiority, which is a kind of derogation of self-esteem for others, so it is annoying Geher, 2018.

However, showing off is not the only reason that humility-style boasting arouses disgust, and even some people who use humility-style boasting pretend to be humble just to cover up the intention of showing off. However, a study shows that this approach is actually more directBragging is even less pleasing Sezer, Gino, & Norton, 2018.

This study investigated people’s reactions to others’ humble boasting, and found that the behavior of humble boasting is not only an image damage to the person, but also the actual interests of the boast-humbleWhile boasting greatly reduces the favorability of others, people are also less willing to share resources with humble boasts Sezer et al., 2018.

Although humble boasting and self-boasting are not pleasing, the former is obviously more offensive. Screenshot from Sezer, O., Gino, F., & Norton, MI 2018. Humblebragging: A distinct-and ineffective-self-presentation strategy.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1141, 52–74.

Sezer et al. 2018 pointed out when analyzing the results that compared to character and ability, when we judge others, we tend to care more about whether the other person is sincere, and because of the insincerity of perception, humble boasting can easily make people disgusted.

It's like people often say "hypocrites are inferior to real villains." Although both seem arrogant and unpleasant, those who boast bluntly are at least arrogant.

In addition, in Versailles literature, things that ordinary people think are precious and scarce are often regarded as ordinary and trivial things. This behavior is easier to make people feel superior than direct bragging. It is no wonder that Versailles literature makes people heart-swornDisgusted.

02.

Since I will be hated,

Why still choose Versailles literature?

The appearance of Versailles literature is not a day or two, and people's aversion to this behavior is not new. But why do people always like to dominate the Versailles literary world? Is it because others hate themselves and have nothing to doLooks like?

Really not.

In addition to exploring why humble boasting is annoying, Sezer et al. 2018 also studied the psychology of people who choose humble boasting. Researchers have found that these people often choose humble boasting because ofThey are eager to gain admiration and favor from others at the same time, so they unwisely combine the two behaviors of getting admiration boasting and getting favor humility.

When both want to gain a good impression and want others to admire, many people choose humble boast to show themselves. The screenshot is from Sezer, O., Gino, F., & Norton, MI 2018.Humblebragging: A distinct-and ineffective-self-presentation strategy.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,1141, 52–74.

It is worth noting that the behavior of humble boasting does not only appear in certain groups of people. When presenting themselves to others, many people mistakenly think that showing off in a humble way can kill two birds with one stone Sezer et al., 2018.However, as the research results show, our behavior of covering up bragging is often self-defeating.

However, psychologists have also pointed out that the tendency to adopt humble boasting may be related to high narcissism, because when people are too narcissistic, they do not realize that others look at problems from their own perspective, soI feel that as long as I pretend that I am not showing off, others will not be able to see it Steinmetz et al., 2017.

Shhh~Don't tell them we know they are showing off~

03.

Want to boast? Better to be sincere

Actually, boasting is not a bad thing in itself, it is natural to want love and respect. What we need to do is to adjust the way and scale of self-expression:

a Sincere attitude

There are always moments in life that I want to show off—I want to show off my super considerate partner; I want to show off how I am valued and appreciated by the leader; I want to show off the wealth I have built up by hard work...These are all worthy of us.A happy and proud experience. It is inevitable that we who have received a humble education will worry about being ridiculed/questioned and too proud when showing off, so it is normal to want to cover up when showing off.

However, self-expression that suppresses our true inner feelings is a kind of damage to interpersonal relationships English & John, 2013; even if we show ourselves on social platforms, we can gain more satisfaction with a true and unconcealed attitudeSense Bailey, Matz, Youyou, & Lyengar, 2020. Therefore, you might as well show your excitement and joy of these experiences naturally and directly, and share your happiness with friends and family members who are willing to listen.

After all, sincerity is more important than a humble attitude. The occasional "self-inflation" also requires a sincere attitude~

b Be grateful for everything you have

To be grateful, we don’t always have to say “thank you”, but always remember that our achievements and qualities we are proud of are related to the resources we have, the support of people around us, and even luck.Indivisible. With gratitude for life, we can express sincere humility and be less arrogant when we boast Rowatt et al., 2006.

c Moderately boast, until you click

In some social situations, we do need to show our strengths, but if we pay too much attention to how to show ourselves in the conversation, it would seem to take ourselves too seriously dog head. So, how should we brag about ourselves?

After looking through the information of various parties, I found that the most important technique to achieve moderate boasting is to remove the embellishments and narrate straightforwardly.

Compared with fancy wording, it’s easier to get everyone’s blessings and praise in flat and straightforward narration. For example, if you are showing off the same thing, these two expressions may give us very different perceptions:

Positive example:


Negative example:

Straightforward narrative means simply stating the facts and mood, not overly decorating, and not adding unnecessary bedding. Research has found that among the many ways of boasting, there is only one way to make others feel convincing and not feel bad, that is, with convictionVerifiable facts are the basis, and verbal concealment and embellishment are aside Speer, 2012.

If you really don’t have a good grasp of your boasting language and you’re worried about “speaking more than anything else”, you can also refer to a small technique called “brag bites” introduced by leadership coach Peggy Klaus-just use a short but powerful sentenceSummarize your achievements Corcoran, 2014. For example:

Finally, I hope everyone dislikes Versailles literature, but don’t be stingy about boasting yourself at the right time~

References:

Bailey, ER, Matz, SC, Youyou, W., & Iyengar, SS 2020. Authentic self-expression on social media is associated with greater subjective well-being.Nature Communications, 111.

Corcoran, J. 2014. 10 ways to brag about yourself without sounding like a jerk. Business Insider.

Geher, G. 2018. 5 reasons why the most arrogant people find success. Psychology Today.

Rowatt, WC, Powers, C., Targhetta, V., Comer, J., Kennedy, S., & Labouff, J. 2006. Development and initial validation of an implicit measure of humility relative to arrogance.TheJournal of Positive Psychology,14, 198–211.

Sezer, O., Gino, F., & Norton, MI 2018. Humblebragging: A distinct-and ineffective-self-presentation strategy.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,1141, 52–74.

Speer, SA 2012. The interactional organization of self-praise: Epistemics, preference organization, and implications for identity research.Social Psychology Quarterly, 751.

Steinmetz, J., Sezer, O., & Sedikides, C. 2017. Impression mismanagement: People as inept self-presenters.Social and Personality Psychology Compass,116, e12321--n/a.

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